When we fall in or or what we initially think is love, it’s often our own love being mirrored back to us via another person. For those of us not strongly in touch with our essence and sense of worth, it can be as if this outside force is bringing us to life. (Of course […]
In today’s world of TikTok Therapy, much is being said about attachment theory. It’s being used to explain any and every relationship issue from rejection to lack of commitment to feelings of suffocation. “Avoidants shouldn’t pair with Anxious-Attachments, blah, blah, blah,” the talking experts say. Yet little is being said how to address the extremely […]
It’s common in spiritual communities for singles to be told that they can take comfort in their relationship to God. And while a lovely idea, this does not negate the very real need for human companionship. After all, God doesn’t keep us warm in bed at night. People need tactile contact and support from other […]
We are living in a time when there is a great intolerance for ambiguity. Most likely because the world is changing rapidly with an ever increasing sense of uncertainty. And in times of transition and upheaval, humans often lean toward the concrete as a means of staving off anxiety and pain. We see this in […]
If going through a break up, divorce, or the death of a partner, questions abound. “Where does love go?” we might ponder, and “Was it even real?” we could ask while tossing and turning throughout the night. Gone are the frequent calls, texts, orgasms, kisses, and “hey you”s, along with the shared meals and interest […]
“They’re so much work,” a friend of mine said recently. “I can’t be tied down like that,” he continued. “I need my freedom.” He was referring to pets as he knows I’m obsessed with mine. I get it. I’ve had periods in my life when I couldn’t be tied down either. “But it’s really not,” […]
On May 12, 2002, Newsweek published an essay by Anna Quindlen called, “Doing Nothing Is Something.” It was a beautiful piece of writing on the lazy rhythms of summer that she recalled with nostalgia from her own childhood. In it, she bemoaned the fast pace of modern life and the contrast between what she experienced […]
“Calm down!” my tennis coach chastised me this morning. “You’re moving all over the place. Slow down and breathe when you hit the ball.” I sighed. How many times in my life have I been told to slow down and breathe? “Your instincts are great,” he continued in reassurance, “because you’re so athletic. But you’re […]
When my mother died by suicide in July 2008, two well-meaning loved ones made comments a month later. One pondered whether the fact that I lived alone intensified my grief. Perhaps if I had roommates, I might not be so upset. The other said that if I had a child, I wouldn’t be so self-absorbed. […]
We know from physics that light can be a particle and a wave. Both things are true. Yet paradoxes are difficult to grasp when we want absolutes. It’s one thing to grapple with these concepts in science. It’s a whole other challenge when thinking about the human condition and trauma. When something catastrophic happens the […]